Creek Beds and Coffee Shops

Stage

Most nights
Katie can be found roaming the roads
In her neighborhood
The fresh air
And empty streets
Are the only luxuries she allows herself
On a consistent basis
That and whiskey

 
She doesn’t have much to put in her pockets
Even the money she earns
Spends less time there then her hands usually do

She doesn’t trust people
 

Her sleeves are torn and frayed
From all the times her hearts been stolen
By people that don’t have the courtesy
To keep her warm

She does not like to be touched

there are too many finger prints
Left in places that they do not belong
There is no tenderness
In back rubs and arm strokes
Cause each one feels like another
Person begging for just her body

It’s a shame that her mother can’t even hold her
Without her head bursting into sirens
But that’s the way it has been for a while

She’s almost gotten used to it
Used to the 9 to 5
That’s anything but
Used to the crappy sleep she gets in between
The depression she wakes up too
And the depression she falls asleep too

when it gets all too much
She finds me
In between the hours of 2 and 3 am
In a dangerous place
When I get that itch to write
And actually have the words to do so

She is the muse I pray upon
Just a fictional beast
I write about
And continue to do so

You see I write about other person
Because I don’t see the worth in saving myself
I give them these flaws
Cause I’m not man enough to admit my own
I make them female
Because I really hope that if I do
Maybe somewhere along the way I’d love myself

Hi, my names Patrick
Here are a few confessions

1. I tip the bartender well
when she has the courteousy
To see the emptiness within
And pours the liquor to fill up the holes

2.I have never seen the quality in what I had to offer
It’s prolly why I apologize so much

3.I write because it’s the only place
I get applauded for the demons I hold
Everywhere else I get silence

4.I don’t take compliments well
They make me feel like a temptation
And I have never had the thirst
To be wanted like that
I just hoped to be kept around

5.I get real scared sometimes
That I’m not strong enough to keep this together
I have collected broken people
And situations that are bigger then me
Hoping that somewhere I’d learn how to save myself

6. My one goal in life is hoping to be a good man
I’m afraid that I want this
Not because it’s the right thing
But because it might mean that I deserve
To be happy
And that it’ll happen

7. The next poem will be happy
I promise

I can make ya’all smile

I can make myself
Smile

Came home to sleep, but had the past re appear and decided to write. Started writing to write something mean, wrote something real instead. I’ve never seen myself on page before.

Correction I’ve never seen my depression on page before.

It’s not what defines me. It’s something I can stand up too. I’m admitting to this and as soon as my piece is polished you’ll see it too.

I have the strength to over come.

I have the strength to be happy.

I have the strength to love myself.

(The next piece will be funny, I promise.) 

There are certain things I write when I am angry.

                                                               Those things… they are not nice.

Her sleeves are torn and frayed
From how many times her heart’s been stolen

Why is it so ignorant to believe that the universe is center around me 

Why COULDN’T I be the center of the universe!?
After all no one knows where it all began
So I will be first to lay claim.
I’ll mark the spot were I stand
and set up my spot lights,
And scream out 

Tonight College station texas is the center of the universe

And everything revolves around this stage 

This man
This is the beginning and end of it all

And before you correct me
Just don’t
Don’t ruin this for me 
I have never needed to just be wrong
Like I do tonight
Let me believe in the impossible

Let me believe as a child 

When we used to look at adults
and say when I grow up 

I wanna be a velociraptor 

And my friend Andy he wants to be a lion 


And like lions
we shook the fear from our manes
And were not bound by anything
besides how far we chose to dream

We took the sun and placed it over our hearts
to keep them from breaking
And even when they did
We were still starlight
Just one pillar of fire
It was biblical in the way we talked through burning

I miss that

It has taken a long time for me to realize that
The past and future mean nothing
If you aren’t willing to hold on to the present

Time and plans are the only things keeping us in motion
So for today lets hold on to the now
It sounds simple
But we have a tendency to make the present all so trivial
It isn’t just some next step
A simple matter of progress

Right Now
Is were we find our dreams coming true
And no it might not get us to where we are going
But living day to day
Is how we feel alive and like children
In wonder of all that lies hidden
In awe of what is new

There is magic in being ignorant to where you are going
Adventures all start with a first step into the unknown
Not with planning

There will be tragedies and triumphs
Friends and enemies

But we should all
Count ourselves centers to something so much more
The universes and worlds
We always wanted

So tonight
I’m a velociraptor
You all can be lions
Or dragons
I don’t care
Just hand me another drink
Show me your smile
Burn with me,
Like you used too

Johannes Brahms
Was a talented 19^th century composure
He is considered one of the top pianist and composures
One of the three B’s
Beethoven, Bach, and Brahms

He never married
It has been said that he had a tendency to fall hard
For women who he just met
So much so that he refused one girl piano lessons
Because he was already too attracted to her

Johannes Brahms was a much wiser man then I
This is about the piano lesson I chose to take

Here are things I thought I learned
The request to cuddle,
Is never just to cuddle
And any text message after 2 am
Should just be left unanswered
For some reason I gave you the benefit of the doubt

And I know
I grew up in Texas
So I should’ve known better then trusting
sirens dressed up in sundresses

It’s just
I have never been in a lions den that inviting

I’ve never felt that at home while being just an attraction

You made me feel welcome while on the execution block

When I kissed you
I knew it all tasted too familiar
I just didn’t think that you tasted like my next heart break

Maybe it was all my fault
For telling you that I was there to mend
But you didn’t have to lie in order to get treatment
You didn’t have to say you liked me in order to stay warm at night
You just had to say you needed me
And I would have been there

You have taught me
That the most successful predators
Are the ones that earn the trust of their prey

This isn’t about a missed opportunity
It’s about broken trust

You see
Some people say things

And mean it

With everything that they are
They mean it

You made me into nothing more then a temptation
Something worth lying for but not worth keeping
You made me disposable
All so easily

You are the hand grenade I got used to smiling at

I have spent so much time avoiding writing about you
That I almost forgot how to write
So this whole thing
Is an attempt to write this out of me
Just trying to get out
Some sort of melody
To hum instead of your name
But I am no song writer
I am not a musician

The only thing I have ever made sing is this pen
But I will beat this desk like a drum
And continue to beat it
Until it is sawdust
Or you can finally hear its notes.

Very strange test but it seems a bit accurate for me at the moment.

http://www.hypnoid.com/EM_entropy/



“You feel frustrated in your attempts to make your will manifest in a relationship, either personal or public. This frustration can be seen by others as irritability or anxiety and occasionally a tendency to drift into righteous anger. There is a feeling that society or people are holding you back, which can lead to a moral exhaustion and a sense of apathy if allowed to fester. If this continues you will ultimately desire only to be left alone.

 An unsatisfying relationship is troubling you, due in all likelihood to a perceived lack of appreciation, or acknowledgement from superiors or loved ones.  Questioning this judgement has lead to a modicum of introversion. You feel that you need assistance from others to repair the situation and are afraid that too much compromise will be seen as weakness. If this situation continues, you may feel the need to break away and redefine your own individuality.”